Kirklees Copwatch - Groping becomes a competive sport!

A little birdie told me about this happening at Huddersfield bus station. I misunderstood the scale of the abuse and quickly forgot about it until The Examiner reported on it today.

Mandy Mellor, the brainchild behind such operations as "Shop a street drinker", has teamed up with professional grass (PCSO if you want the technical term) Natalie Haigh to bring Huddersfield another step closer to Airstrip One. Possibly, going for a Guiness world record of most innocent people groped in 150 minutes, their newest hair-brained scheme was to block off the exits to the bus station and run everyone through a scanner, point a dog at them and then lovingly run their hands up and down the bodies of public transport users. Kinky!

Sadly, the people, including school children and pensioners, who were involved in this World Record attempt were not asked for their consent to be touched like this by Mandy, or her crew.  The filth assures us however that people were pleased to see the gang in action. Make what you will of that one. Some people get turned on by uniforms I'm led to understand.

With the pressure at it was to complete the task within the allotted time, it's little wonder that Mandy and Natalie were really eager to score some weed, to take the edge off. Unfortunately, despite searching over one and half thousand people, the most they were able to come up with was a pack of king size papers and an empty baggie which the dog beat them to.

Neither Guiness World Records, or West Yorkshire Police are willing to comment about whether 1,500 people fondled in 150 minutes has broken the world record for fondling without consent, currently held by Mr Tickle. By the looks of things, he remains the champion while West Yorkshire Police merely chalks up another successful harassment of the public in the name of catching those evil dope smokers who threaten to destroy everything we hold dear.